Leap Day

An out-take from our "Leap Day" photo shoot:

BP1 (4 yrs, 3 mos), A. (3 yrs, 1 mos), Bennett (5 yrs, 10 mos)

BP2 (14 mos), The Niece! (2 yrs, 4 mos)

Three Little Monkeys

Self Portraits - While Swinging with the Baby

So Good To Be Home

Finally home from our unexpectedly extended weekend. All three children were kind enough to remain asleep after being carried into the house. The car is unloaded. The camera is downloaded. The Red Bull is wearing off. Sleep I shall.

WEEKEND!!!

It's Here! AND nobody is sick! AND the sun is shining! AND the snow is melting! AND AND AND...

How do you like your eggs?

Yesterday, every child was in bed for the night by 5:45. The Mama was out shortly after six.

I am officially burnt out.

WHERE THE HELL IS THIS PLACE WHEN YOU NEED IT?

Can't find any outfit that looks good with the Green Eye Goo...so he remains in his pajamas.

Day five of sick baby. I took the three children to the clinic yesterday and being the ever so efficient mama/godmama that I am, I found a reason for every child to be seen! Yes I did! With the development of Green Eye Goo and day four of raging fever, the baby's ear finally decided to look inflamed, and he thus came home with antibiotics, which I'm told will hopefully take care of the goo...if not, we'll be back at the clinic tomorrow morning. Oy.

And the questions about them not all being mine...I'm getting ever so creative at answering that one! Some people inherit money...I inherit children. Go fish.

Efficient to the last minute, we managed a quick visit with Bennett's godmama when we went and presented her with a prescription (or two) for each charge. The head pharmacist asked me if I ran a daycare. And you do not want to see the cold stare the sweet man received from me.

The upside to the story is than no one else is sick. Yet. And hopefully it will stay that way. (Asthma puffers and wart removal crap do not constitute sick...) So, day five of holding a very cuddly sick baby and getting next to nothing done. I'm about an inch from training the four-year-old to be a maid...

I Have a Nice Cold Bullet with Murphy's Name on it!

About the time that I decided that today could not get any worse, I found myself in a spectacular mood! Or it could have been the caffeine...three days deprivation can do that to a person, but damn, that cup of Starbucks goodness tasted fantastic!

After being housebound for three days with a very sick baby...no, wait...I did get to spend six spectacular hours in emerg on Sunday with the poor little guy...I rounded up the troops and headed out to Wal-Mart, since we were out of, well, everything. After shopping and going through the check out, I realized that my wallet was 15 km away, at home, on my desk. I could feel my brain smoking right about then. 30 km later, we had the groceries in our trunk and found ourselves at the Starbucks drive thru listening to someone take our order in Spanish. I told him that they clearly did not pay him enough. The odd part is that I understood everything he was asking me...even corrected him when he said one of the drinks was for 'el Niño'...nope, that one is for 'la Niña'...dude.

Now that the baby is finally eating again, and dehydration seems to be less of a concern, he has some lovely green and sticky nastiness attempting to glue his eyes shut. Tomorrow morning we will be hanging out at the clinic...you know, for fun.

Now, how about some Shay-isms...

Mid December, I call Jamie's house and Bonus Pumpkin 1 answers the phone: Hello.

Heza: Hi Princess.

BP1: *long silent pause* What did you call me?

Heza: I called you Princess.

BP1: *disgusted gasp* Here's my mother!
____________________

Two or so weekends ago, just before I skipped town and left the children with the other mother and her man, BP1 looks at the Welder and says: What's in your pocket?

Heza: *chokes on the food she was swallowing*

The Welder (like the well-seasoned-father-of-three-whose-mind-is-not-permanently-in-the-gutter-like-the-person-choking-on-her-food): Well, that would be my cell phone and keys. (he says as he pulls the items out of his pocket to show her)

Heza, who has managed to take a breath without killing herself with her lunch: *shouts* Shayanna! Guys do not look in girls' purses and girls do not ask guys what they have in their pockets!!!

The Welder & BP1 stare blankly at me and the Other Mother, who over heard this exchange, nearly falls to the floor laughing.
____________________

Tonight in the car, BP1: When we move, Grandpa will have Peace & Quiet. (referring to her great grandpa, whom she previously resided with and where her mother still resides while working during the week)

Heza: Grandpa has Peace & Quiet now, because you are not there.

BP1: He does not! Mommy is there. When we move, Grandpa will have Peace & Quiet!

Bennett: What is Peace & Quiet?

Heza: The opposite of Children.
____________________

During the same car ride, BP1: When I am in my bed, I do not have that many questions!

Heza: Why is that?

BP1: Because I am asleep!

Heza: No kidding.
____________________

And last, but not least, after two nights of bravery, she decided she was scared of the dark again and spent two nights sobbing when I shut her bedroom door. Today, she bravely announced that she once again 'likes the dark' and happily went to bed tonight...in the dark...with the door shut...without sobbing. She changes her mind about this 'liking the dark' thing about as often as she decides she loves or hates any particular outfit or food choice.
____________________

And a Bonus Bennett-ism -

Pointing to a tube of toothpaste, Bennett asks: What does that say? Does it say Shiny?

Heza: Sure.

Bennett: For making your teeth nice and shiny?!

Heza: *Absolutely!

*I might have lied...it might have said, 'Crest'.

Monday Morning Moments

When I asked the baby if he wanted a bottle this morning, he dropped his head into his hands and started sobbing. I guess the thought of a bottle just sent him over the edge!

During an impromptu stare down with the four year old (actually a rather frequent occurrence around here - to determine who is really in charge...me or her...can you guess who wins?) she broke the silence by announcing, "I can jump on one foot!" "Oh, how very talented you are, my dear! Would you be so kind as to demonstrate this ability of yours?" She gave me the BIGGEST EYE ROLL before hopping around the room on one foot like a human pogo stick.

After giving the baby tylenol for his fever, he projectile vomits all over me...twice.

While taking a bath to remove the vomit...
Four-year-old walks in, looks at me and asks, "What are you doing?"
"I'm shaving my legs."
"Why?"
"Because I like smooth legs."
"Your shaving the fur off your legs?"
"Yes, darling, the fur."

~ ROCKING OUT TO METALLICA WITH A BABY ON EACH HIP ~

Check out the lip curl on Miss K! She'll be rocking before she's out of diapers! That is, if she can only give up the sock eating habit...you don't want to start your career with a crutch like that...

Lukey-Bear, on the other hip, was mighty jealous that he had to share the dance!





Babes are 13 mos & 6 mos old
Photos by Mandy

Quick Turn Around

Today, the four-year-old ray of sarcasm announced that she 'likes the dark now'. Cough. I thought she was pulling my chain, but she repeated herself on the way home tonight and then told her mother so while talking to her on the phone before bed...ahem? After tucking her in to bed and turning off the light and CLOSING THE DOOR...there was not even the faintest sound of sobbing!!! Need I mention that she cried for two freaking hours last night? TWO WHOLE HOURS!!! There was too much going on outside of the bedroom, post bedtime, to allow the door to stay open if ever she were to sleep...so she intentionally sobbed for two hours! And tonight? She likes the dark?! Of her own free will...no brainwashing involved?! WTF?

Whose Been Eating My Laundry???

Miss K. (6 mos)

Poor Damn Milo-Bear

Jamie: You know what actor he looks like?

Heza: He's a cat.

Jamie: He looks like that actor off of Austin Powers Gold Member. Fat Bastard.

She then nearly falls over laughing.

Need I mention that none of the above had consumed any alcohol or anything else that might evoke hallucinations…at least, if anyone did, they most certainly did not share with me!

51

You would have been 51 today
17.5 years you have been away
You are missed in every way

Sweet, Sweet Weekend!!!

Eating, singing, dancing, guitars...t'was another awesome weekend indeed!

Once again did not actually remember to take the camera along...but got these two images with my cell phone... Some of Monty's buddies rocking out in thier basement.

One of my favorite moments...he says he knows an awesome little pizza joint...when we get there he saunters on into the kitchen and starts making dinner. I say, "I take it they know you here?" "Yeah, a bit." he replies.

I am left in a stupidly happy mood...now back to children.

This Kid is Growning on Me

I'm sitting here with my youngest charge on my lap. He's decked out in his John Deere t-shirt and his blue & white striped OshKoshBGosh overalls. We are splitting a container of Salt & Vinegar Pringles and the boy it totally going to town!

This morning Shayanna asked me, "Why is Lukey a baby?" I think I just stared at her in response. Any how, he's a pretty awesome baby by any measure of the baby stick!

Cramping his Style

Small child wakes up at one a.m. He is coughing and crying and requires cuddles. We cuddle and laugh and listen to some tunes and talk to his Mom on the phone. He then climbs off my lap and starts crying and crawling away from me. Um? Sir? I follow him...he stops at the closed bedroom door and looks up at me. Apparently he remembered what time it was and decided that I was totally cramping his style! Damn woman! Keeping me up when I should be sleeping! And with that he went back to bed.

And an hour and a half later I am still up...

This Child is Giving me a Run for my Money

Four-year-old-god daughter, a.k.a. Bonus Pumpkin 1: I'm Thirsty.

Heza: I'm Annoyed.

BP1: I want orange juice.

Heza: I want sanity.

BP1: What's Sanity?

Heza: I'm starting to wonder that myself...

__________

After enjoying nearly a full bowl of pasta with tomato sauce:

BP1: I don't like tomatoes.

Heza: Then you won't be lasting long in this house.

__________

After listening to her sob, continuously, for half a freaking hour over nothing:

BP1: (through pathetic tears) I don't want to go home and go to bed!

Heza: Then perhaps you should try NOT crying! Being as that is WHY you are being sent to bed when we get home!

BP1: ~Instant Silence~

__________

BP1: Are you going to go play with Monty this weekend.

Heza: Yes.

BP1: What games do you and Monty play?

Heza: Ummm, Err, Uh...Monopoly! And Scrabble!

BP1: Can me and Bennett come?

Heza: No.

__________

BP1: How many kids does Mommy have?

Heza: I don't know, how many kids does she have?

BP1: (counting with her fingers as she goes) Well, there is me, and Lukey, and Darcy, and Grandpa...

Heza: I'm sure your mother would love to hear your list!
__________

After yet another question...I swear to god, this child fires them off faster than a semi-automatic...and I'm not just talking 'Why?' questions here...

Heza: I did not know that I needed to have a doctorate to watch you...

BP1: You need a what?

Heza: I did not realize that I would need a doctorate degree to take care of you. It's like playing a 24-hour game of 247 questions!

BP1: I'm going to be a doctor!

Heza: Yes you are my dear.

BP1: Is Bennett going to be a doctor?

Heza: Yes.

BP1: Did Bennett say that?

Heza: Doesn't matter. You guys get two choices...doctor or rock star...take your pick.

__________

I did stump her once this week though...well, kinda...

BP1: What are those?

Heza: Tampons.

BP1: What are they for?

Heza: They are for when your uterus sheds it's lining on monthly intervals.

BP1: Oh. What's a uterus?

Damn...I almost had her...

What followed was a long discussion about uterus' and why boys don't have them and who grew in whose uterus and how the wee darling wants to be a Mommy some day. I told her..."All the power to ya, my dear, once you have a doctorate, and you find yourself a good man that I deem worthy of you, your life is yours and you can have as many babies as you like!"

The brain washing starts early around these parts!

__________

Wardrobe Catastrophes

My child, who is three months shy of six years old, still wears whatever I tell him to. No questions asked. He does not care. It takes him a good hour to actually get into the clothes, but he truly does not care what his clothes actually are...nor does he care if they are on backwards or if his shoes are on the right feet...and it tortures him so that I tell him to 'take it off and put it on the right way' when he does these things! Even better is when I ask him to stop and zip up his coat when it is below freezing outside...if you could only see the tortured look on his face and the sounds of udder disgust and annoyance that come out of his mouth! I'm just guessing that he is a typical boy?

Then there is the girl. Oh. My. God.

I did not know that it could take an hour to pick out an outfit. I did not know that an article of clothing could be so passionately loved one day and so hated the next. I did not know that one could be reduced to tears over having only four choices of pants to choose from. I did not know that an EXCITING afternoon activity is "Choosing new clothes to wear!" Oh, wait. That was me at the same age...damn. I am sooo Sorry, Mom!