I Have a Nice Cold Bullet with Murphy's Name on it!

About the time that I decided that today could not get any worse, I found myself in a spectacular mood! Or it could have been the caffeine...three days deprivation can do that to a person, but damn, that cup of Starbucks goodness tasted fantastic!

After being housebound for three days with a very sick baby...no, wait...I did get to spend six spectacular hours in emerg on Sunday with the poor little guy...I rounded up the troops and headed out to Wal-Mart, since we were out of, well, everything. After shopping and going through the check out, I realized that my wallet was 15 km away, at home, on my desk. I could feel my brain smoking right about then. 30 km later, we had the groceries in our trunk and found ourselves at the Starbucks drive thru listening to someone take our order in Spanish. I told him that they clearly did not pay him enough. The odd part is that I understood everything he was asking me...even corrected him when he said one of the drinks was for 'el Niño'...nope, that one is for 'la Niña'...dude.

Now that the baby is finally eating again, and dehydration seems to be less of a concern, he has some lovely green and sticky nastiness attempting to glue his eyes shut. Tomorrow morning we will be hanging out at the clinic...you know, for fun.

Now, how about some Shay-isms...

Mid December, I call Jamie's house and Bonus Pumpkin 1 answers the phone: Hello.

Heza: Hi Princess.

BP1: *long silent pause* What did you call me?

Heza: I called you Princess.

BP1: *disgusted gasp* Here's my mother!
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Two or so weekends ago, just before I skipped town and left the children with the other mother and her man, BP1 looks at the Welder and says: What's in your pocket?

Heza: *chokes on the food she was swallowing*

The Welder (like the well-seasoned-father-of-three-whose-mind-is-not-permanently-in-the-gutter-like-the-person-choking-on-her-food): Well, that would be my cell phone and keys. (he says as he pulls the items out of his pocket to show her)

Heza, who has managed to take a breath without killing herself with her lunch: *shouts* Shayanna! Guys do not look in girls' purses and girls do not ask guys what they have in their pockets!!!

The Welder & BP1 stare blankly at me and the Other Mother, who over heard this exchange, nearly falls to the floor laughing.
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Tonight in the car, BP1: When we move, Grandpa will have Peace & Quiet. (referring to her great grandpa, whom she previously resided with and where her mother still resides while working during the week)

Heza: Grandpa has Peace & Quiet now, because you are not there.

BP1: He does not! Mommy is there. When we move, Grandpa will have Peace & Quiet!

Bennett: What is Peace & Quiet?

Heza: The opposite of Children.
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During the same car ride, BP1: When I am in my bed, I do not have that many questions!

Heza: Why is that?

BP1: Because I am asleep!

Heza: No kidding.
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And last, but not least, after two nights of bravery, she decided she was scared of the dark again and spent two nights sobbing when I shut her bedroom door. Today, she bravely announced that she once again 'likes the dark' and happily went to bed tonight...in the dark...with the door shut...without sobbing. She changes her mind about this 'liking the dark' thing about as often as she decides she loves or hates any particular outfit or food choice.
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And a Bonus Bennett-ism -

Pointing to a tube of toothpaste, Bennett asks: What does that say? Does it say Shiny?

Heza: Sure.

Bennett: For making your teeth nice and shiny?!

Heza: *Absolutely!

*I might have lied...it might have said, 'Crest'.