Mae Day in November

Mae comes home today! One day before she turns four months old!

Emily is still pregnant...but the wee lad in her uterus gets an eviction notice on Tuesday! That girl is so ready to not be pregnant anymore! The poor thing has been "in labour" for a month now!

Bra Codes

Mae Update!

Miss Mae is now 3.5 months old (her original due date was Halloween, two weeks ago) and she weighs 7lbs 4oz (birth weight was 2lbs). She is very close to coming home, but is still in the NICU, partly because she is still learning how to tolerate normal feedings!

Hilarious!

Husband Wanted

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time go get married again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

**HUSBAND WANTED**
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.

He had no arms or legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you!," the widow said. "Just look at you, you have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!", she snorted.

Again, the old main smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday.

Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people that were nearly 100 years old, having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive today if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

Fuck a Duck

Welcoming Myself Back...I think...

Thanksgiving, a Niece's Birthday, and Honourary Niece's Birthday, a trip to the WLP with three kids, a trip to the Pumpkin Patch with several friends and their kids, a kid's Halloween party to meet up with some Internet friends, two weekends out of town with god children, one week out numbered by kids (watching god son), Halloween, and lots and lots of pictures! October was a very child oriented month. (And we are totally stretching it right into November, as we have yet to carve are pumpkins, which we are totally doing this weekend!)

Oh, and the crazy fucks that were once my in-laws decided to stop pursuing me in court (for a forth time!!!!) Yes, I have been fighting them in court for four years! (Averaging one round per year.) Some families go on vacations, and apparently some families take their ex-daughter-in-law to court and harass them about not being able to see the grandson after they prove that they should not be trusted within a province of any child! They finally realized that they have screwed themselves too many ways from Sunday and that they are not going to be able to convince any judge that I am unreasonable in telling them to stay the hell away from me and my kid! Have a drink to that one!!!

On to November...