Bad Picture Sunday

Dude! What's with the face?

It's a nice shot when my kid is edited out...heh.

Shae (7 yrs), Bennett (5 yrs, 8 mos)

Happy...

December 28th: Happy Birthday Mandy!

December 27th: Happy 3 months to Braden!

December 26th: Happy 3rd Birthday Sarah!

December 25th: Happy Christmas!

December 24th: Happy 1st Birthday Lukey!

December 23rd: Did I Miss Anybody?

December 22nd: Happy 7th Birthday Shae!

**Update:
December 21st: Happy Birthday Adam!

Happy Eve of Christmas Eve from the Zoo!

Excuse the poor picture quality...my camera screen was crushed last month and I have no idea what setting the thing is currently on nor what flash it is set to nor do I have any way of changing such settings. Lucky me, I am good at aiming the thing without looking at it, because I am truly shooting blind...takes all the fun out of picture taking! So, here is a token shot from the broken camera: three kiddos in front of a fake tree. Try hanging out with these three for 24 hours, un-aided. I have stories to share...but no more energy left to tell them. If today was a prelude to the days to follow, there will be much drinking to come...

Tom Boy Niece

After much deliberation, her cargo hold is carefully packed with a Soccer Ball and a choice assortment of toy cars...she later ditched the soccer ball to make room for more cars & trucks...

Yes. It's Fake.

Yep. Cheated. Bought the boy a fake tree. He can keep it up as long as he likes. It fits perfectly in our tiny living room and it's small enough to put on a table when the baby arrives...it'll just touch the ceiling... I managed to pack an outstanding number of lights on the thing...we will add ornaments tomorrow.

Here are some trippy pics of our red and blue lit tree...

Not that anyone is keeping tabs...

The young whipper snapper born to my...not graced with height...cousin two weeks ago has managed to gain an entire pound in his first two weeks of life...no losing any birth weight here! The last child I knew to do such a feat was my own...half a pound a week for the first six months, plus a bonus pound in month five, tallying a grand total of 22 pounds at six months of age! We'll see how long young Brutus can keep this up... (and if he does, he should out weigh his *mini* three-year-old sister before next Christmas, whom herself did not weigh twenty pounds until after her second birthday, if I recall correctly?)

Full Steam Ahead

Dad is scheduled to be released from Hospital tomorrow morning and will be able to come home to continue with his recovery.

Lucky him...he has a live in nurse!

None of us could have asked for a better Christmas Present!

Why you are glad that you were NOT at my house this morning...

Woke up this morning to my beloved cat puking on my bed. ON MY BED! ON THE QUILT MY GRANDMOTHER MADE!!! Good Morning.

Cats puke on occasion. I know. But I have no carpet in the house, which means that the rare event usually calls for some spray cleaner and paper towels...not washing my god damn quilt! Don't get me wrong here, all ye dog lovers, a bout of cat puke is not nearly as disgusting as the thought of picking up some mutts feces in a little plastic bag twice a day *shudder*, or one instance of my child running into the house with shit on his shoes because the damn neighbour was too lazy to walk his dog, let alone let the dog out in their own back yard to do his foul business. Said neighbours also fail to bathe, brush or trim their dog's mangy sheepskin like pelt. If their dog looks that horrid, I would hate to see the inside of their house...

On with my morning...

Nothing like a nice swig of rancid, curdled milk. As I was standing in front of my fridge, curdled milk in one hand, milk jug in the other, I am staring at an expiration date that is still over a week into the future...then I glance at the temperature dial inside the trusty ice box. My child, at some point in the recent past, put his sticky little fingers on the thing and turned it to zero...as in zero cold...as in zero perishable food survived. So, until I go shopping, our fridge now has a couple of vinegar based salad dressings in the door and a drawer full of onions...the rest of the cubic storage is up for rent...

In an effort to make my son's lunch from non-refrigerated goods, I start to open up a can of soup, and immediately after puncturing the top of the can, the can opener went to can opener heaven. So, now I have a fridge full of rancid glory and a de-funk can opener. Oh, and the flu I thought I was coming down with...it would actually be food poisoning! Yay me!

More events that were less than this-will-someday-be-humorous also transpired. All I have to say is that the child and I departed ways this morning with a mutual glare. I re-scheduled my re-scheduled psych exam and went back to bed. Pepto-Bismol anyone?

Christmas Tree? Well...If I Must...

So much to be thankful for right now... And so much that I could sit here and bitch about until the cows come home (to which I will spare all)... Makes for a very moody Heza.

Tomorrow I'm going to get off my arse and go get the Pumpkin a Christmas Tree. For the first time in my entire life, I have no desire to go get a real tree. No desire to deal with sap and pine needles. No desire to untangle lights and unpack ornaments. So, the boy will likely get a short fake tree this year...which will suit him just fine, because he can keep it up as long as he likes (can you say 'Christmas in July'?) and be the sole decorator and re-decorator of the hunk of metal and plastic. Suits me just fine. The thought of being able to put the seasonal center piece on a table, out of the baby's grasp is a pretty fine idea, come to think of it!

We are heading out to the Wild Lights thing on Thursday...a very important tradition around these parts. And we'll probably hit the event up again when the god kids arrive next week.

Due to the heart incident, most out of town company and extended family get-togethers have been re-scheduled for Easter. But in my little neck of the woods, company arrives a few days before Christmas and more company a few days after Christmas. It should prove to be the exact, right amount of people, so long as the drinks keep flowing! Albeit much quieter than the usual holiday shin-dig...

Here's to a Non-Bah Humbug Holiday Season to All Y'all!

Toga Parties Rock

Enough Said.

On a Lighter Note...How About Some Estrogen?

My Dear Sweet Cousin Emily, her Nine Pounder and her Hubby Mike...

Sir Aaron Scott...

To keep it in perspective, Em is 4'10" and her previous children have been in the 6-7 lb range...
I might have to take up calling this child "Brutus"...



Miss Mae (4 mos old) & Sir Aaron (5 days old) ... they be cousins!

Day Two, Post Op...

Dad is off the ventilator, no longer sedated and has been able to consume some juice! These are good things!

Relief

Dad came through his ten hour surgery very well. He is now in recovery, but will remain sedated until tomorrow at the earliest.

Bennett came home today with an "angel" that he had made at school. I thought that was very appropriate, under the circumstances.

Counting Blessings...

Dad had what appeared to be a heart attack last night around six p.m. He arrived at hospital via ambulance, where they discovered a large tear/aneurysm on his aorta, near his heart, that was on the verge of rupturing. Doctors said he was damn lucky it had not already ruptured, as this would have been fatal. He was medi-vac'ed to Vancouver and entered heart surgery around 4 a.m. Nine hours in, he is doing well and should be in recover in an hour or so.

Still in shock over the entire situation, but so thankful that things are turning out as best they can.

Raining Glass

I told him to use his feet...so he picked the ball up with his hands and threw it strait up in the air. He happened to be standing directly below the light fixture...

Oh Baby! (December Edition)

Congratulations to Emily & Mike!

One day before the scheduled induction,
Aaron Scott arrived this morning at 6:23 a.m.;
weighing in at 9 lbs, 2 oz and measuring 22" long!
Being as mama is under 5'...that's a lot of baby!

He is said to have blonde hair, dimples and to strike quite a resemblance to big brother David!

Aaron is a baby brother for Peter (7), David (5), Matthew (2) & Sarah (2)! (US)

Mae Day in November

Mae comes home today! One day before she turns four months old!

Emily is still pregnant...but the wee lad in her uterus gets an eviction notice on Tuesday! That girl is so ready to not be pregnant anymore! The poor thing has been "in labour" for a month now!

Bra Codes

Mae Update!

Miss Mae is now 3.5 months old (her original due date was Halloween, two weeks ago) and she weighs 7lbs 4oz (birth weight was 2lbs). She is very close to coming home, but is still in the NICU, partly because she is still learning how to tolerate normal feedings!

Hilarious!

Husband Wanted

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time go get married again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

**HUSBAND WANTED**
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair.

He had no arms or legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you!," the widow said. "Just look at you, you have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!", she snorted.

Again, the old main smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday.

Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people that were nearly 100 years old, having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh, no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding, and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive today if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

Fuck a Duck

Welcoming Myself Back...I think...

Thanksgiving, a Niece's Birthday, and Honourary Niece's Birthday, a trip to the WLP with three kids, a trip to the Pumpkin Patch with several friends and their kids, a kid's Halloween party to meet up with some Internet friends, two weekends out of town with god children, one week out numbered by kids (watching god son), Halloween, and lots and lots of pictures! October was a very child oriented month. (And we are totally stretching it right into November, as we have yet to carve are pumpkins, which we are totally doing this weekend!)

Oh, and the crazy fucks that were once my in-laws decided to stop pursuing me in court (for a forth time!!!!) Yes, I have been fighting them in court for four years! (Averaging one round per year.) Some families go on vacations, and apparently some families take their ex-daughter-in-law to court and harass them about not being able to see the grandson after they prove that they should not be trusted within a province of any child! They finally realized that they have screwed themselves too many ways from Sunday and that they are not going to be able to convince any judge that I am unreasonable in telling them to stay the hell away from me and my kid! Have a drink to that one!!!

On to November...

Cheated and took the Munchkins to the Mall...

On one hand, it's totally cheating, and I really missed the good old fashioned Trick-or-Treating mascaraed. On the other hand it is a totally brilliant idea! For people with short Trick-or-Treaters, going to the mall, where it is light, and you can see every one's costumes, and you get a reasonable amount of candy for minimal effort, the mall is just not a bad idea at all! Bennett was too tired, post swimming, to do much Trick-or-Treating anyways, as we only made it through half the mall before he was totally done! Next year we will hit the streets sans persons under three! Because you don't have enough candy until you can no longer hold up your pillow case!

Bizarre by Any Other Name...

Just when I thought things could not get any stranger, they manage to get...stranger. I am going to bed...because I fear that the dream world is actually more sane than the freak show that I seem to be experiencing here in reality!

Oh Baby! (October Edition)

Congratulations to Laurie & Jason!
Baby ~Danika Payton~ was born on October 5th, at 9:22 a.m. Weighing in at 9 lbs, 4 oz and 51 cm long; a baby sister for Brendan. (BC)

October in a Blink

My Niecie Girl is TWO Today!!

Life has been a steady stream of homework, kids (mine and other peoples'), homework, more homework and more kids. I'm really living on the edge...cough. Two exams down, one more next week. A short road trip this weekend and a trip to the pumpkin patch next weekend.

October isn't passing me by this fast, is it?

Thanksgiving Weekend (North of the Border)

Two Excellent turkey dinners; one with family and one with friends. 'Twas a really yummy weekend! Lots of good company and lots of good food. Now, back to the grind stone: two exams in the next three days. Full steam ahead...
_________________________

A few shots that did not get sent to the recycle bin...

Two quiet children (amongst 14 adults)...rare moment indeed!

A Sampling of the Post Turkey Crash...

Turkey Dinner, Round Two:

First Thanksgiving at Laura & Derek's new house....had a very nice time with friends, old & new...

John Edward: Tiny Dude with One Killer Smile!

Hyper Pumpkin!

Bennett & Wendy

I like how Bennett looks all ghosty in this shot...

Smallest Hockey Fan!

~My Big Brother & His Baby Boy~

Cousin Pride

A few days ago, I had the nerve to refer to the new baby cousin as, "Uncle J.'s baby..."

Bennett immediately protested, "It's not J.'s baby! Uncle J. does not have a uterus!"

"My apologies, son. Auntie N.'s baby..."

-------------------------

Tonight, my camera arrived safely back home (so did Nana!), loaded with beautiful pictures and video of The Nephew! (& of the very proud parents!) Bennett hogged the thing for half an hour, watching the videos of his new baby cousin over and over...then he declared, "I want to go to ******** and see him right now!"

Not up for the ten hour drive tonight, I used the best excuse in the world..."You have school tomorrow!"

I wondered how Bennett would react to the idea of a 2nd cousin...it would appear The Nephew! will be landing into open (cousin) arms!

Only in Australia

Europe vs. MIddle East

Interpretation...

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominantly white patriarchal society. "In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, a Scottish man approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.

"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there are no African-Americans depicted at all. They're just three Scottish coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."

Wisdoms from I've (whomever that is...)

As I’ve Matured…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

I’ve learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’ve learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things.

I’ve learned that ex’s are like fungus, and keep coming back.

I’ve learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I’ve learned that I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy it.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I’ve learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent.

In Lieu of Gymboree

Make me Laugh in the Middle of the Night...Thx Matt

As of 8:30 this morning...

SIL is at the hospital, water broke on it's own! Nana (my Mama) is en-route with a truck load of baby gear and my camera (personal paparazzi!)

How Hairy is your Woman?

Conversation with Service Manager while picking up my car from the mechanic (yes, again...)

After a fellow frequent customer made a teasing remark to the Service Manager about his inadequate ability to meet a satisfactory number of "hot chicks"...

Service Manager: "Actually, I'm seeing someone right now."

Heza Hekele: "Please tell me she doesn't have a beard."

Service Manager: "Naw, Naw, she's not Italian."



The Service Manager and Most of the Mechanics at the shop are Italian-Canadian;-)

To Further Along Baby Central Week...... Miss Mae Pics!

Welcome to the world! July 31st, 2 lbs, 3 mos shy of Halloween due date:

13 days old:

18 days old:

My Baby Cousin & her Baby - Kangaroo Care (27 days old):

Mae with Mommy & Daddy (27 days old):

44 days old, 3 lbs & wearing clothes!