One Measure of Insanity

This post brought to you by an AWESOME birthday present from an AWESOME friend: a camera that WORKS!!! And the fact that my Saturdays as of late are turned over to short people; and I'm not just talking mere Niece Borrowing here!

So, I, being one of four adults, took TEN children on an outing. Well, make that 10.5, being as the sister is quite assuredly knocked up atm.

And to think that four months ago I was maxed out by five kids for two hours...

DC (10 yrs), BP1 (4 yrs), Shae (7 yrs), The Niece! (2 yrs), L. (3 yrs), Sunshine M. (3 yrs), Bennett (6 yrs)

Plus three in strollers: BP2 (16 mos), Miss K. (9 mos), B. (9 mos)

5/7 walkers...

What lies beyond the light at the end of the tunnel?

Children on the wrong side of the exhibit!

You would think that this stroller bound thing would start sucking at some point?

Totally oblivious that he is being one upped by a chick seven months his junior...
Miss K, dressed for a job interview for Santa's shortest helper...

She'll make a fantastic sky diver someday...


Dude who fake cries whenever you put a camera in his vicinity. Drives his photographer Auntie nuts.

BP1 with 2/3 brothers...

Not one to hang out with chicks his own age...

Playground Yoga.

Emergency meeting amongst the playground's higher officials...

Forget the light...there is a baby at the end of this tunnel!

The next three photos brought to you by cuteness and nothing else.



He can stand.

He just doesn't want to.

Up again.

Making another break for it...

Put back to work...

Bah. Do you see where this is going? Do you now understand why the resident toddler is referred to as the "non-walking toddler?"

Stubborn. Baby.

Jamie's Boys.

All of the testosterone in our group, less the Pumpkin...

That's as far up s the baby made it...


7 of 10 children in the next photo...can you spot them all?

I took this picture because he matched the bench so well.

Inchworm.

He is very fast at his preferred method of travel...

Poser.

Anyone want to wager whether or not...

...this bottle is spiked with rum?

We so, totally need one of these babies in our back yard! Capable of entertaining multiple children for multiple hours...and dude, it's just a tube!

Bennett attempting to stop traffic...or at least slow it down. Very. Bennett.

Peacock Stalking. Have you tried it?

You totally should!



That was our one day of gorgeous weather in recent memory. The next day it returned to cold and gross, which it remains, to this day.

'Twas a Shitastic Day Indeed

We did not get to where we were going as fast as I had anticipated we would...
The Tire was Toast

Ah, yes, little man, I feel the same way about that creepy clown!

The Cost of Children

When I set the baby on the counter at the store today, the clerk laughed and said, "How much for the baby?" I said, "I don't know, what are babies going for these days?" Then the clerk looked at BP1 and said, "How much for you, sweetie? One Million, perhaps?"

BP1: "Nothing!"

Heza: "Nothing? You mean she can have you for free?"

BP1: "I'm not free! I'm four!"

Clerk dies laughing.

Oh Baby! (April Edition)

Congratulations to Joni & Ryan on the birth of their son; a baby brother for Taia, Tyson & Jaida.

Jackson arrived at 1:44 p.m. on Sunday, April 20th, weighing 8 lbs, 10.5 oz and measuring 50 cm long.

Joni says that this is both her heaviest and shortest baby yet. Mama & baby were both home from the hospital a mere four hours after delivery. (BC)

"Perfect"ly Useless Day

Due to the severe sleep deprivation of the children, whom were up three hours past their bedtime last night, we took the eldest child to school this morning and then returned home and went back to bed. The baby saw fit to wake the four-year-old and I up shortly after noon. He even yelled "An'ya!" (his version of BP1's name), "Ge'up!" while pulling her hair! He gives orders well.

We then consumed the Birthday Cake leftovers for lunch. Yummy!

A sweet birthday present from a good friend...

...which will be well enjoyed, after having to deal with the child that did not benefit from our morning slumber...



And now a word from my sponsors...

And without further adieu, I am a year older, whether I like it or not.

My Pumpkin and I: 6 years & 12 days of Mamahood...


Someone else got a cool new toy on my Birthday. Ever seen a Harley with only 36 km on it?


This would have been an awesome shot, had it been taken on an actual camera: middle aged son showing his former Harley riding Dad his new ride...

This would have been a sweet shot too: two generations admiring a work of art...


Yesterday I spent the whole day moping. The eve of my birthday is a little worse every year, as I inch closer and closer to putting a 3 at the beginning of my age. The up side is, there is no better way to clear oneself of negative energy like a self inflicted day of blueness; I was in an extraordinary mood all day today;-)

It turned out to be a very nice day.

More Crappy (but CUTE!) Cell Phone Pics

IN DISGUISE
Sunshine (M)

BP1 & BP2 (16 mos)

ONE SHOE SHOPPER
Miss K. (9 mos)


MATCHING DRESSES
You gotta love how the younger child is both taller and in a larger dress size! Sunshine (M) (3 yrs, 6 mos); BP1 (4 yrs, 5 mos)

SUMMER DRESS
She had to take off her winter coat to pose for the picture...it's still very chilly out! Where did our beautiful, warm weather go?

Someone's been watching too much Treehouse...

Short people in this household are frequently quizzed on the titles/artists of the songs we are listening to, especially if they are making a "request."

Bennett: "I want to listen to Rocket Star." (Rock Star by Nickelback)
Heza: "Who sings it?"
Bennett: "Hinder."
Heza: "No."
Bennett: "Backyardigans!"

Bean Head

After accidentally elbowing The Niece! in the head:

"Ouch! You hurt my bean!"

Ewok.

I did not take this picture, but I have deemed it highly appropriate for the mood around here now. The Niece! has arrived and my weekly 24 hrs of being outnumbered 4:1 has begun. I very much feel like I am among Ewoks: short, unpredictable and speak a foreign tongue. We are working on the furry part...

My Short Shopping Partner

The Niece! pushing BP2 in the stroller that was once *hers (like, oh, half a year ago!) Can you see her pull-up peaking out of her britches there? She's a Big Girl now!
Lukey-Grrr...along for the ride.

Hmmm...I wonder how much the Turkey Liver costs?

I had fun hanging out with my girl this morning, while Bennett and BP1 were at school...alone time with auntie has been sparse since the arrival of the Bonus Pumpkins...replaced with cousin time, which is an enrichment to all of our lives...but I still have to sneak off occasionally with just my girl!

*By hers, I mean the "Cheap Auntie Gear" stroller that I bought because it was red, had tall handles and was only sixty bucks. It aint no Maclaren or Peg Perego (which I had for my own baby), but I am pleasantly surprised at how well and how long it has held up...used 1-2 times weekly for over two years and still just as good as the day I bought it!

She officially turned the stroller over to the baby on Halloween. We met up at the mall to try out the indoor trick-or-treating thing and I knew that her jaw would hit the ground when she saw me get the baby out of the car and put him in HER stroller; just slightly possessive of HER gear, this child was! Making things worse, this was her maiden introduction to the 10-month-old screamer. And true to form, the protest started, "That's MY stroller!!!" But I quickly diverted her, "Yes, and since the baby can't walk, he's going to sit in the stroller and since you are such a BIG GIRL now, you get to push him in the stroller!" Her eyes lit up, she pushed him from the car and into the mall, where she was quickly distracted my more interesting things... And that was that. I think she has sat in the thing once or twice since. She out right refused to use it when we went to the Wild Lights exhibit at the Wildlife Park at Christmas time. I pushed the thing around for an hour and a half, at night, in FREEZING weather, but she insisted on waddling (clad in two layers AND a bulky snowsuit), at her own pace, for the entire outing. And that is the last time I ever took the stroller out of the trunk on her behalf. (she was 26 mos old)

Has anyone noticed the horrid quality of the pictures in the last few posts? Cell phone cameras: despicable quality, but oh so incredibly convenient on the fly!

Nothing.

Nothing. That is exactly what I feel I have accomplished today (and many days lately.) I should be able to do better than I am currently doing. I mean, it's not like I went from one to three kids overnight. Oh, ya, I guess I did go from one to three overnight. Shit.

Case in point, today: wake up, dress and feed three kids, plus self, haul rubbish bins to curb, take son to school. 9 a.m. arrive home. Put baby down for nap, do some "homework" with the four-year-old, make coffee, consume coffee while checking/returning e-mails, retrieve screaming baby from torture chamber known as crib, mop kitchen floor, make lunch, feed children, feel as though mopping the floor was a slight waste of my time...

(Can you see my keys in the middle of the slop? Why are they on the floor you ask? Because I have a toddler. That is why. I distinctly remember depositing them ON the table, not the floor. That said, damn does that kid have a good aim...)

...bath children, dress children, put children down for a nap, catch the one and only hour of TV I insist on watching in a day, rescue screaming baby from torture chamber known as crib, pack snacks, pick up son from school, come home, haul rubbish bins back from curb, allow kids to play outside for a while. And now it is four o'clock.

Where did the day go? I'd like to say that I accomplished one thing today...but even that one thing was not really accomplished, as I am about to go re-mop the kitchen floor.

Wrong Block

While hanging out with the kids outside, I noticed some new neighbours across the way...a couple of guys, bbq'ing and playing some tunes from their truck. They were obviously trying to get noticed, one even made eye contact with me. Not bad looking either. However, it was quite tempting to throw a speaker in my window and blast some Metallica to drown out the country tunes they were playing. I resisted the urge.

They are so on the wrong street...just counting me and the neighbours directly beside me, there are two amateur rock bands and one chick, who's kid(s) have heard just about everything except a single note of country...until they played outside today.

The Art of Eating a Motorcycle

BP1: Why is Lukey eating my motorcycle?

Heza: Because it tastes good.

BP1: Oh.
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Monday.

A very decent Monday. I shit you not. Monday and decent in the same sentence! I fully blame it on the red bull consumption pre-picking-up child from school. For some reason I had energy to get through the evening. There was non-tormented cooking of the dinner. There was sitting down at the table with the kids. There was rocking a happy, cuddly baby to sleep. There was much nodding while watching Jon & Kate plus 8 with their "three-year-olds don't chew gum" rule. Only, at this house it is "Kids and gum don't mix. Period." rule.

So funny. When we were up north, visiting my brothers, my son walked into the kitchen late one evening with a horrible look on his face. I asked him, "What is wrong?" And he said, "Casey gave me gum!" He was telling on his uncle! As if he had no choice but to take the gum. I said, "What is the rule?" Bennett replied, "Kids and gum don't mix!" He knows. "Correct! Spit it out!" He begrudgingly obliged.

On that note, who wants to know how a video of a computer screen turns out? Pretty bad, actually. I was watching a friend's baby via web cam and and captured this...it does not do the boy justice...he is quite possibly the world's cutest baby. We shall call him Drooly George. Can you see the sunshine through the window behind him? That's because he is in beautiful Hawaii. The sun had already set here! He is using his mother's hand as a pacifier/teether, as he drools himself into oblivion. Oh the bliss of being three months old.

Post Party Crash

Taking a friend home after Bennett's Birthday Party; everyone was happily worn out at the end.
Shae (7 yrs, 3 mos), BP2 (15 mos)

The Happy Shopper...

...didn't quite make it through the shopping trip.

I'm putting my money on the one that answers to ''Turkey Liver''

Heza: Are you a Turkey Liver?

The Niece!: Yes!

Heza: You sound like you really believe that!

The Niece!: Yes!

Heza: Who's your favourite Auntie?

The Niece!: I don't know.

Heza: You don't know?

The Niece!: I don't know. (thoughtful pause) Are you a Turkey Liver?

Heza: No. I'm a Turkey Liver's Auntie.

**************************************************

Heza: Are you going to have a baby brother or a baby sister?

The Niece!: I'm going to have a baby sister!

And a few minutes later...just to double check her...

Heza: Is Mommy going to have a baby?

The Niece!: Yes!

Heza: Is it a girl baby or a boy baby?

The Niece!: It is a girl baby!

The child has spoken. Being as it is a toss-up at this point, I think I will side with her.

**************************************************

After rocking the sweet thing to sleep tonight, my desire to allow blood back into my arm won over my better judgement and I put her down on the couch. She instantly awoke from her ten minute power nap and delightfully kept me company until a quarter to midnight, when she fell asleep here:

Her new baby sister (or brother) is due the day after her 3rd birthday.

Shoe Tasting Club. You Should Join.

This is the stink bug that BP2 caught the vomiting bug from. Here she is sampling his shoe. Yum. Before you feel sorry for the sick boy, remember, all is fair in love and war...he's a hair puller!

Miss K. (8 mos)

Tired. Worn Out. Feeling Nostalgic.

Yesterday, day three of holding the pumpkin's puking baby brother, was the six year anniversary of my due date. It did not occur to me that it was April Fools' Day until the day was gone...too caught up in trying not to be vomited upon, I suppose. There is one week left of my five-year-old being a five-year-old; for next Wednesday he will be six!

Starting today, the four-year-old gets to join her brother at school for a few mornings a week, until the end of the school year. She is stoked out of her mind. It should be more exciting for her than hanging out with me and the always-sick-with-something, non-walking toddler.

And now, upon the completion of this nearly pointless post, I'm going back to bed. Here's for a puke free day...