Middle Name Meme

Tagged by Senja...

Rules and Regulations: You have to post these rules before you give the facts.

1) Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

2) When you are tagged you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.

3) At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Sooo...if Heza Hekele had a middle name, what would it be? FRED. It's a long story, goes back a decade or so and has to do with something that should never again be mentioned...but it stuck; and many people from my past still refer to me as such, for various reasons... Still, I got off easy if you do a comparison to some of the atrocious Nick-Names that I have bestowed upon others, least of which, "The Niece!" is usually called "Turkey Liver" and "The Niece! II" or "The Nephew!" -to-be is already being referred to as "Spudly" (I shall spare my adult victims, who have fared far worse, from being used as examples here.)

F - FREAKING FANTABULOUS! In every imaginable way! Would you expect anything less?

R - REALLY, REALLY TIRED! Cramming for Calculus Exam...not much brain power left for everyday things...like thinking in general! Thus the creativity put into this here Meme is way below my own snark standards...my sincerest apologies.

E - E*** The real Initial for my Real Middle Name

D - Drinking. Because that is what I really wish I was doing right now. My brain is screaming for mercy...yet the beating has only begun! Drinking would be much more pleasant, alas, it would also be counter productive...so I shall go back to beating my head against the evil text book that is my reality for the next 72 hrs.

Sympathy pains anyone?

I tag any and all Lurkers to De-Lurk, complete the Meme on their own blog and leave a link to their post in the comments of this post...I always love to here from De-Lurking Lurkers!

If you didn't just come from exactly here, http://www.searchanddestroytwins.blogspot.com/ , then go check it out! Warning: Snark in a Bottle, open at your own risk, because she does not come with a "Fermenting Since" date...

Breast or Bottle Fed

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

Foreigner Curiosities Revealed

These questions, about Canada, were posted on an International Tourism Website. The questions were really asked! The answers have been fabricated for your laughing pleasure...

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.


Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.


Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.


Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in
Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: What, did your last slave die?


Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.


Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.


Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

How to Waste a Friday Evening...

Five thirty rolls around on Friday evening and I bluntly remember that I did not go get that prescription refill that I needed to get...shit!

Quickly shower, gather up the boy and b-line it for Costco...on the other side of town... So, we find a nice parking place, turn off the engine and I go to grab my Costco card and realize that both my Costco card and debit card are NOT in my purse...could of gone and had a replacement membership card printed at customer service, but the only CC I am carrying is NOT the ONE CC that they accept at Costco...fuck. fuck. fuck.

Get back in the car, realize that the child has coloured all over his shorts with his pen...confiscate pen and paper...child starts screaming...threaten to drive home and send child to bed...child exit's screaming mode...drive back home...all the way across town, with a permanently furrowed brow!

Run into the house, grab Costco card, debit card and new pants for child...drive back across town...

So, we shop for fruit, get suckered into buying a case of spicy noodles that were being given out in free, yummy, samples, make our way through the checkout, and go feast on pizza and ice cream at the food court, where we ran into a friend's four gorgeous, teenage kiddos that I used to babysit when I was a teenager and they were all in diapers...am I that old already?

Picked up damn prescription, made our way out to the car and had an impromptu conversation with a total stranger that pulled in beside us as we were unloading our cart...total stranger was wondering why my five year old was in a booster seat...total stranger got the mini speech about the physics of seat belts:

"Children with 4-8 year-old-sized bodies are often (a) EJECTED from the vehicle and KILLED or (b) injured by a seat belt that fails to stay put on their pelvis and/or shoulder bones, causing crushing injuries to soft abdominal organs (and often spinal injuries) and/or injuries to the neck and face in a collision. Children in this body size category are the MOST LIKELY (4x more than any other age group) to be INJURED or KILLED in a car accidents. This is because they are so often in a SEAT BELT ONLY, which is designed for ADULT SIZED BODIES. BOOSTER SEATS SOLVE THIS PROBLEM and MAKE SEAT BELTS WORK the way they are supposed to."

...stranger thanked me for the information; he had wondered if it was worth buying a booster seat for his 3.5 year old who had nearly outgrown her car seat, and now knew why he should...blah.

We drove home and put away our groceries and I am now getting ready to pull an all nighter studying while the boy sleeps.

Lesson 1: Delaying making a doctor's appointment to get a damn prescription refill can lead to a waste of an entire evening and a quarter tank of gas!

Lesson 2: Not emptying pockets of pants before throwing them in the hamper, thus not returning cards to wallet, can lead to an impromptu trip home for said cards.

Lesson 3: All Nighters Suck...when they involve Calculus...

And, kids under 4'9" require booster seats when riding in cars.

The End.

69 Cougars...

About as cute as two over grown kitties with steak knives for claws could possibly get; happened upon this cuddle fest at the zoo this weekend...

Oh Baby! (August Edition)

Congratulations to Alexandra & Ryan!

Arden made her appearance on August 16th, at 7:12 p.m., weighing in at 7 lbs, 14 oz, 20" long; a baby sister for Kayia & Katan.

Alex is very, very happy to not be pregnant anymore! (Alberta)

Squirrelly Intuition

Remember the mad little squirrel in the video (Aug 4) from a couple weeks ago? Well, he had reason to be nervous, although, he should have been yelling at the weather man, not us...

Four days after that video was taken, a wind storm took down his old tree; you could see his winter cache of nuts in the hollow of the trunk, exposed to the world when the trunk split and the tree fell to the ground...it was a very sad day for the squirrel!

Here are pics of the clean up crew on the morning after...

Let the Waiting Begin!

Word is that the sister-in-law is about ready to pop, six weeks ahead of schedule, but being as she herself was a three months early preemie, carrying her own tike to 7.5 months (and counting) makes her proud! The Niece! II or The Nephew! may be making an appearance sooner than expected and I'm about as freaking excited as an Auntie-to-be can be! They live in the next province over, so visits will be much less than that with The Niece!, still, the fact that Bennett will have another partner in crime, another cousin to grow up with, is just a fantastic little thought that warms my heart!

In my group of five siblings, I was the first and only parent for 3.5 years; my baby sister & BIL jumped on the parenting band wagon, with production of The Niece! in late 2005, and now, roughly 5.5 years into the game, it's awesome to have a second niece or nephew and exciting to share the parenthood thing with more of my peeps!

Also, Cousin Alexandra was induced yesterday, so there should be news of little Arden coming soon as well! This one is roughly a week or two over due, so the wait has been a long one for her Mama!

Take That You Bastards!

Spent seven hours cleaning upholstery yesterday...thought it would take me three...I was wrong. I never want to see another carpet cleaner again. At least the car's interior now looks brand spankin' new, the ghetto couch smells fresh as a daisy and the mattresses are unarguably dust mite carcass free! I have an issue with dust mites, never actually saw one, but I did see that Oprah show where they showed one under a microscope and flashed a bunch of large numbers across the screen, representing something awful...and a phobia they instilled in me! Any habitable dust mite home is professionally (a.k.a. yours truly) cleaned twice a year and all pillows in the residence are bleached and tumble dried monthly...take that you bastard dust mites!

Are there any other freaks out there that steam clean their mattresses and bleach their pillows? Or is this a one woman ship I am sailing?

Happy 22 mos to my Sweet Niecie Girl!

Misc.

First beer I ever finished; first beer I ever found palatable enough to warrant a second sip... (Bad Canadian Girl - not a natural beer lover...)

Sign posted at Pick'a'Part, Chilliwack, BC

Blue truck en-route to it's demise in the crusher...

Mountain Pine Beetle eating away at the forests like cancer...

Clouds casting shadows on the landscape below them...

Nickelback

Nickelback did not disappoint! Actually exceeded expectations! State of Shock and Puddle of Mud rocked as well, coulda left Yellow Card, but, what an AWESOME NIGHT!!! My hearing is about 80% back to normal...here's hopes another night's sleep will fix'er up for good?!

Will post video clips just as soon as I figure out how to get them off my cell phone...left the main camera back at the hotel room...didn't want to have too many valuables on me in the pits ;-)

HVCM

Reconnected with an old friend. Entertained the boy with two storey tall dump trucks. Got real dusty. Definitely enjoyed our outing to the Mines a couple days ago.

:-) :-) :-) :-)

Heading to Nickelback...totally stoked!

Wrote last Psych exam today...no more classes 'til September! One correspondence course to go (from my own computer) and the summer term is officially over.

Put mismatch pajamas on the boy...on purpose. He of course, never cares if his clothes match, but the fact that I don't care...this is a big thing for me. Change is in the air and it feels good.

Been going about this all wrong...

I've been living off of a junk food diet for the last couple of days, and now my pants are fitting all lose like...which leaves me truly perplexed. Have I been going about this whole waste size thing the wrong way? Is it possible that health food is over rated? Am I at risk of joining the dark side and filling my cupboards with cookies and chocolate instead of whole wheat pasta and organic munchies? Do Oreos equal trimmer love handles?

Take That Telus!

No longer doing business with Telus...in any way, shape or form!!!
It is a glorious day indeed!

Rare

Spent four hour of child free bliss, this afternoon, shopping by my self. Seriously, no one in tow...it was very odd. I don't remember the last time I was able to spend such a large span of time solo...and NOT at school!

Not So Happy Squirrel

This squirrel went on like this for at least half an hour, because we had the audacity to be near his tree...Bennett found it highly amusing...and so did the dog...who intended to sit under the tree for as long as possible, just to piss the squirrel off even more ;-)

Unscheduled travels with Thing 1 & Thing 2

Moment I wish I had had a camera for today: Ordered The Niece! a kid's hot (warm) chocolate from Starbucks...she did okay for a bit, but then she squeezed the cup (thankfully outside of the car)...the lid flew off and the contents of the cup exploded all over her...hat, face, arms, hands, shirt, skirt, ground...she was dumbfounded...looked totally betrayed, like I had set her up! Nothing a change of clothes and wet wipes could not fix, but I won't be ordering her anything from Starbucks again any time soon...

Then, a couple hours later, at Booster Juice, I wrongly assumed that she would not want "her own" smoothy...once again...utter shock on her part...was quickly fixed by another trip to the counter. She drank nearly the whole thing...even when she had a brain freeze and was shaking her head back and forth in an attempt to dull it...still sucking away at the straw! Making up for the morning's incident, no doubt. Half of the bus ride back down to pick up the car, she was doing "cheers" with her cup to mine. This annoyed Bennett profusely; he could not understand why she had to keep saying, "Ready? Cheers!" as she rammed her cup into mine...over and over and over and over... Every other by-stander thought it was quite hilarious though ;o)

I despise buses, and only stooped to that level because it made my son's day...twice! But I was reminded of one of the reasons that I hate them, as well as reminded of my awesome reflexes (same reflexes that saved her from the killer raspberry I had the nerve to feed her a year ago), when The Niece! (all 20 or so lbs of her) flew forward off of her seat as the bus lurched to a stop. She was sitting on the back bench of the bus, beside Bennett, and I was sitting on the side bench to her left, just to the side of her impromptu flight path. I caught her in one swoop, with both arms, inches above the floor, where she would have done a beautiful, face first splat! Rather, she ended up with an unimpressed look on her face and the desire to hold my hand for the rest of the journey, so as to have a safety net if she went flying again!

Bennett, as well, was an awesome boy today and a very good cousin on our unscheduled adventure; nor did he seem to be upset about missing swimming, soccer and daycare. Although, insanely jealous that Mama got a new red cell phone and he didn't! I have never seen him so jealous over anything!

Both kids clocked several kilometers of walking today, not bad for a one & five-year-old. This was due, in part, to the fact that I don't carry cash, so, before catching the Loser Cruiser, we first had to walk from the mechanic's to a bank machine and then to a store to get change and then to the bus station to figure out which bus to take. Of course, I had my student card in my pocket...the card that gets me on all city buses for free, that is, if I had ever bothered to go by the student union and get the damn sticker put on the back of it! (same luck as having the car blow a gasket when I have two kids with me, less a stroller for shorty) But, the same card did get me an awesome discount on the phone plan & cell, so, it wasn't all useless to me today. Loving these student discounts...cell phone, season's ski pass, cable...all cheaper when that little student ID is flashed...and this is just the tip of the ice burg!

The car is now fixed and no longer spewing coolant about! Yeehaw.

Bennett is tickled pink that he gets to go up to the Mines this weekend and ride a Yellow School Bus! (which the mine uses for their quarry tours during their annual open house) He'll skin me alive if they have switched up for real tour buses!

How Bennett got out of Swimming Lessons, Soccer Practice & Day Care for the Day...

En-route to swimming lessons this morning, a coolant hose burst in my engine (yes, second time this year, but a different hose than last time...) As luck would have it, I had both Bennett & The Niece! with me, and my stroller was, of course, in my living room, at home, as apposed to being in the trunk, where it should be.

This was, by far, the last straw. After leaving the mechanic's, Thing 1, Thing 2 & I took a bus up to the mall and I bought a freaking cell phone. I may be the last person on earth to have joined the club, but joined I have.

I am now the proud owner of a shiny, red, LG Chocolate!